bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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