I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
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