I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
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There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
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I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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