Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Say something about gay babies.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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