When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
