I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
