All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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