Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
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