you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
