Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
