Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize