I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize