Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
