when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
