I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize