she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
