i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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