some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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