Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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