I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize