Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
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