I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize