i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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