its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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