he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
