If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
