This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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