I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
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drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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