According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
