We named our party play list daddy issues
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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