my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Randomize
