I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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