I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Randomize
