Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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