so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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