he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize