How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
