Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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