I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
