Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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