we're chasing vodka with high fives
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize