Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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