I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
