Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
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