When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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