I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
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