He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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