can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
