I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
