so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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