Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize