Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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