When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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