i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
