It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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