no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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