Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
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