I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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