he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
This beer is not sobering me up at all
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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