My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
