I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I think we might need a safe word for this...
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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